1 00:00:03,421 --> 00:00:04,922 {\an8}Hi, YouTube. 2 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:08,300 {\an8}Welcome to Rogu unbox candle. 3 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:11,470 Ooh, yeah, I love unboxing videos. 4 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:14,890 All the thrill of opening a box without all the stress! 5 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:17,768 You like this, but you refuse to watch my YouTubes 6 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:21,021 where I eat dangerously old army food from World War II. 7 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,735 Ooh. "Spicy Apple Pie", 8 00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,028 "Old Car Smell", 9 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,532 and "Root Beer With Your New Stepdad". 10 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:36,412 Does he like it? I hope he likes it. 11 00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:37,955 He always likes it! 12 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,791 Smell good. 13 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:41,876 Yes. 14 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,302 Is he okay? 15 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:53,387 Has anyone seen Rogu recently? 16 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,474 Oh no, this video was posted three days ago! 17 00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:58,392 Rogu! 18 00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,189 That smell... 19 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,610 I'll never be your dad, 20 00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:10,196 but I'd love to be your Doug. 21 00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:14,241 Whoa, that was so real. 22 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:18,746 Hey anyone seen an "87 Pistons Locker Room" candle lying around? 23 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,835 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 24 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:28,631 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 25 00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:31,509 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 26 00:01:31,509 --> 00:01:35,221 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 27 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:41,185 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 28 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:44,063 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 29 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,776 {\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 30 00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,948 I think he's feeling better. 31 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,368 Aww. 32 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,452 Gross. 33 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,955 {\an8}And of course Roger's not here. 34 00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:03,707 {\an8}He's always working at that dang greasy spoon diner 35 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:06,669 {\an8}and now it's our responsibility to take care of Rogu? 36 00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:10,297 {\an8}Not that I mind spending time with him. Love the little stinker. 37 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:14,218 {\an8}Rogu and I share a Roblox account, so we've seen some shit. 38 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:15,803 {\an8}Oof. My dogs are barking! 39 00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:18,556 {\an8}Had to work a triple 'cause Miriam finally had her baby. 40 00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:20,391 {\an8}Cesarean, huge mess. 41 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:25,729 {\an8}Long ass day, but it's all worth it to bring home... eleven dollars? 42 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,690 {\an8}Okay, what is it? What's up everyone's butt? 43 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,066 {\an8}Rogu is sick! 44 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:32,027 {\an8}He looks fine to me. Probably needs a little snack. 45 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:35,906 {\an8}- Aah! - Mama knows just how you like it Rogu, 46 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,491 {\an8}all powder. 47 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,704 {\an8}Roger, you're never around. 48 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,914 {\an8}And frankly, even when you are, 49 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:46,000 {\an8}you're not much of a father to Rogu. 50 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,628 {\an8}Father? Look at me! Have some respect for the boobies... 51 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:54,091 {\an8}and call me Mama! It's hard to be a single parent! 52 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:57,219 {\an8}I know you all got upset when I drove to Atlantic City 53 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,054 {\an8}with Rogu on the roof of my car, 54 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,432 {\an8}but I've been trying to be better! I quit smoking, 55 00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,851 {\an8}I got rid of a lot of the asbestos in the attic, 56 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,562 {\an8}and I only let Rogu have one wine cooler a day. 57 00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,272 {\an8}What more do you want from me? 58 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:11,108 {\an8}You could potty train him instead of just leaving pee pads all over. 59 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:14,111 {\an8}You could give him a bedtime, or at the very least, a bed. 60 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:17,406 {\an8}You could save his immortal soul and baptize him already! 61 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,116 {\an8}You guys overreact about everything, 62 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,784 Rogu doesn't even look sick. 63 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,914 That's a boredom cough. 64 00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:27,291 I know what will make my baby feel better! 65 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,966 Ha-ha! Got you again, Rogu! 66 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,302 Frickin' family always judging me. 67 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,262 I'm sick of it. I'm a great mama. 68 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,181 Ah, your Lunchable broke open. 69 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:44,308 There's little ham and cheeses everywhere. 70 00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:48,312 I'd buy you a pretzel, but I spent my last eleven bucks on this bottle of Lagunitas. 71 00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:50,481 Water. 72 00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:52,900 Ah, that's what I'm talking about. 73 00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,786 Hmm. Do you need that guy, Rogu? 74 00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:06,455 Like, did he serve an important role inside of you 75 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,540 or was he more of like a middle management type? 76 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,876 I guess he was important. 77 00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:19,343 Okay, I was finally able to determine that Rogu is indeed sick. 78 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:20,844 Well, what are we going to do? 79 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,013 We can't take him to a regular doctor. 80 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:26,392 Why? Because I'm a single mother and the world's against us? 81 00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:29,520 No, because he's an alien! 82 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,397 - Oh. - I know an inexpensive-- 83 00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:34,274 I mean, a great doctor we can see! 84 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,195 It's a good thing you brought him in! 85 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,114 He is clearly suffering. 86 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:44,368 I remember when he was just a little tumor growing off your alien's head. 87 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,537 I know exactly what to do. 88 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:48,539 - Great. 89 00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:51,000 Oh, not this, I have to make a quick work call. 90 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,545 Maureen, you sloppy bitch, I need you to cover my shift tonight... 91 00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:58,007 What? I never called you a sloppy bitch! Where'd you hear that? 92 00:04:58,007 --> 00:05:02,511 Billy! I need twelve ounces of the solution and my medium calipers. 93 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,013 With haste, Billy! 94 00:05:04,013 --> 00:05:06,223 Quickly now with the salve! 95 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,058 Salve me, Billy! 96 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,857 Now tuck your feet and cross your arms... 97 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:17,192 this is the tricky part... 98 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,446 - Success! - What? 99 00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:25,200 This is exactly the conversation piece my wall of oddities was missing! 100 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,704 Stop squirming! You're making streaks on the glass! 101 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,414 This is what you were doing? 102 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:34,877 Don't worry, I'll backlight him so he looks very spooky. 103 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,339 You should be ashamed of yourself. 104 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,009 Oh, I am! But not about this! 105 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,306 There's nowhere else we can take Rogu, 106 00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:49,933 so we either figure it out or he dies. 107 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,311 I'm gonna be on team "Figure It Out", 108 00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:53,437 who's with me? 109 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:54,688 - I'm with you! - Me, too! 110 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,815 - We got this, gang. - Are you [bleep] crazy? 111 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,609 We're not [bleep] doctors! 112 00:05:58,609 --> 00:06:00,360 I don't even clip my own toenails, 113 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,279 I go to a licensed esthetician. 114 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,865 Oh, I am totally bummed about Rogu. 115 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,660 But if something were to happen to him, God forbid, 116 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:13,332 {\an8}I want you all to know that I can fill in as the cute weirdo that everyone loves. 117 00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:16,460 Klaus eat too many uncooked rices. 118 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,544 Hey! 119 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,464 Look how cute and purple Rogu looks! 120 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,965 He's not breathing! 121 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,384 We need to do a tracheotomy to get air into his lungs! 122 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,638 I just saw Doc McStuffins do this to a penguin squeaky toy. 123 00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,306 I need a straw! 124 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,433 You're gonna stab a hole in his throat? 125 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,435 You have trouble opening a Capri-Sun! 126 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,978 Pull yourself together! 127 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,730 Roger, where are his lungs? 128 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,107 I don't know! 129 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:41,318 Doesn't know where his son's lungs are... typical. 130 00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:46,156 - Ugh. 131 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,076 He's going from lavender to indigo! 132 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,536 That wasn't his lungs! 133 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,417 Try again! Save my sweet baby! 134 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,172 You did it! 135 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,924 That was scary. 136 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,219 {\an8}I don't know if I'll ever be able to find any joy in life agai-- 137 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:16,353 Wow, this is everything we could possibly need. 138 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,897 It's cool the CIA let you borrow all this stuff. 139 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,858 Well, at first, Dr. Weitzman was like, 140 00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:23,819 "Stan, you can't barge in and take all my lab equipment." 141 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,612 And then he was all, "Please Stan, 142 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,615 don't leave me in the trunk like this, I'll do anything!" 143 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:36,415 Okay, Maureen flaked, but I got Linda to cover for me. 144 00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:39,543 I just have to snake-sit for her while she's on the Train cruise, 145 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,712 a boat cruise featuring the band Train. 146 00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:43,881 Not to be confused with the Cruise train, 147 00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:47,885 a sexual position that requires Tom Cruise and at least three other people. 148 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:52,055 Roger! Get your disgusting purse off my patient! 149 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:55,225 That purse is nasty. I swear there's a rat living in it. 150 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:58,896 That's not a rat, that's Rogu's pet gerbil, Mr. Business! 151 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:03,483 And let me tell ya, Mr. Business is all play. 152 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,653 Okay, we have no idea what's wrong with Rogu 153 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,907 but we need to somehow figure it out and then cure him. 154 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,158 Do you hear yourself? 155 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,951 We have no idea what we're doing, 156 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,411 Rogu is doomed! 157 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,163 Hayley! Get him out of here! 158 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:21,001 You fools! No one plays God and gets away with it! Not even God! 159 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,461 Let's brainstorm. 160 00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:25,589 Let's hear everyone's thoughts about how to save Rogu. 161 00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:28,759 Okay, I grabbed every type of medicine the CIA had. 162 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,553 We could just start injecting Rogu with random stuff. 163 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,597 We sometimes do that at work when we're bored. 164 00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:35,557 Tuttle's a certified Reiki healer. 165 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,601 I could make his favorite soup, 166 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,561 Ramen cooked in Diet Dr. Pepper-- 167 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,730 Jeff, I noticed you're being quiet. 168 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:46,276 I don't think I should say my idea because I have no experience. 169 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,111 I've never been to the doctor. 170 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,780 That means you have fresh eyes. 171 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,657 Tell us your idea, Fresh Eyes. 172 00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:54,451 Well, when I was curious about myself, 173 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:57,579 Hayley got me a book all about my body and me. 174 00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,414 Maybe Roger has a book like that. 175 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,416 That would be very helpful! 176 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:05,003 Roger, do you have a medical book for your alien species? 177 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,755 Not sure, but I can check. 178 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:10,384 I do have a DVD of my species' remake of Patch Adams 179 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:13,303 but our version is more of a sexual thriller. 180 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,722 ♪ Yes, we have no bananas ♪ 181 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,392 ♪ We have no bananas today ♪ 182 00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,978 This is the kind of dumb crap Rogu would do, right? 183 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,647 I'm using most of my energy to make my eyes all wonky. 184 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,653 Hey, I did have a medical book for my alien species! 185 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,029 And it's written in English? 186 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,240 Most stuff in the galaxy is in English. 187 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,158 Frasier is that popular. 188 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,827 Wow, this book is perfect. 189 00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:40,330 It lists every illness Rogu could possibly have. 190 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,581 Thank you, Jeff! 191 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,083 Jeff? It's my book! 192 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,793 Any idiot can own a book, 193 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,754 but Jeff had the genius idea to look for a book. 194 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:56,680 We can rule out a Solar Sinus Infection and Nasal-Gumps 195 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,308 because Rogu doesn't have a nose or ears. 196 00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:00,684 Roger, are you going to help? 197 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:01,852 I am helping! 198 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,855 I'm loving my son the way only a mama can! 199 00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,273 Is that an energy drink? 200 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,025 Chill out, it's apple juice. 201 00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:11,278 Well, a hard cider. It's the only way I can get him to eat his fruit! 202 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,866 Check it out, we've narrowed it down to just two diseases. 203 00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:18,452 Great! Let's give Rogu the cure for each of those. 204 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,538 Whoa, whoa, whoa. The wrong medicine could kill him. 205 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,999 Shoot! This is way too complicated! 206 00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:26,543 I finally get why doctors are all such assholes. 207 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,379 Sorry about freaking out earlier. 208 00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:33,050 I did a guided meditation, I'm popping my calming bubbles. I'm ready to help. 209 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:36,887 Good news, we've figured out that Rogu either has AstroPox 210 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,056 or Cranial Vein Thrombosis. 211 00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:43,393 Perfect, those are two very-normal not-completely- made-up-sounding diseases. 212 00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:47,230 Are we sure he doesn't have Gloop-Gloop or Slorg-Borg? 213 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,523 Oh no! What's happening? 214 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:49,566 He's having a seizure! 215 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:54,488 We gotta sedate him! I'll get the medicine, you restrain him! 216 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,823 I'll get his arms-- 217 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,283 You guys grab his legs. 218 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,827 Why does Mr. S sound like a lady? 219 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,579 Never mind I think I get it. 220 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,581 Not so funny now, huh, Jeff? 221 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,750 Will you two please-- 222 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:07,876 Knock it off. 223 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,510 Hey, can I get one of those shots to mellow me out? 224 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,929 Come on, I quit smoking, I need something! 225 00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:21,556 How about a hug? 226 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,475 You're bad at hugging. 227 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:28,605 Lab work always calms my nerves. 228 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,983 Let's relax and take a look at this sample of Rogu's blood. 229 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,121 Sweetie, you look a little warm. 230 00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,789 I think you might have a fever. 231 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:51,670 Hey! It says here that Cranial Vein Thrombosis 232 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,713 only occurs in children under two. 233 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,091 That means if Rogu is older than two... 234 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,968 We would know he has AstroPox! 235 00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,137 Roger! How old is Rogu? 236 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,805 Um... 237 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:05,642 - Are you kidding me? - Doesn't know how old his son is... Wow. 238 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:09,146 Of course I know! And I happen to have Rogu's baby book in my purse. 239 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:10,605 In here somewhere... 240 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:13,984 Knott's Berry Farm park map from 2008... 241 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,486 some of these rides are gone, I don't wanna lose this... 242 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,988 I'm sorry, what am I looking for? 243 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,573 Oh, baby book! 244 00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:23,743 I can now confidently tell you that Rogu is... three years old. 245 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,496 Bam! I know my son's age, suck it! 246 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,124 Rogu has AstroPox! 247 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:33,086 Let's cure this freak of nature! 248 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,843 - That's a good sign, right? - I'm not sure. 249 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:43,638 - Is that a good twitch, Francine? - Leave me alone, Stan! 250 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:53,398 ♪ I got the special sauce To make the whole world dance ♪ 251 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:57,694 ♪ I found the secret plans For getting in your pants ♪ 252 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,654 This seems like a good sign! 253 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,452 Listen to him shred! Rogu's back, baby! 254 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,625 Rogu? You okay, honey? 255 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,084 You gonna finish your song? 256 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,838 We killed him! 257 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,882 We're gonna burn! 258 00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:22,886 But hell is too good a place for what we've done. 259 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,471 Oh, God, 260 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:28,892 that was what is known as a Pre-Death Funky Energy Rush. 261 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:31,394 How could this happen? 262 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,982 - Oh, I believe I know how this happened. 263 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,902 - Rogu's baby book is blank. 264 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,947 Okay fine, I don't know how old he is! Are you happy now? 265 00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:45,408 No, because you made us give him the wrong medicine! 266 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,285 I'm sorry! 267 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,704 All I wanted was one moment where everyone thought I was a good parent. 268 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:52,207 But look what I did to my son. 269 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:56,336 For the first time in my life, I'm gonna do the right thing. 270 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,007 I'm gonna abandon my child. 271 00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,262 {\an8}- Not now, Klaus. 272 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:07,138 {\an8}I didn't say anything yet! 273 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:10,809 {\an8}I was simply going to ask if any of you felt a little off? 274 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,561 Now that you mention it, 275 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,437 I'm starting to feel like I'm dying. 276 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:18,733 Babe, what's happening? 277 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,277 Rogu must be contagious! 278 00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:22,904 Whatever the hell he has, now we've caught it too! 279 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,656 But I have lunch plans! 280 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:28,076 You're never eating lunch again because we're all going to die! 281 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,957 {\an8}No, I'm not supposed to go this way, 282 00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:37,877 {\an8}I'm supposed to be shot and killed by Shakira's bodyguards! 283 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:43,300 I'll be back to take your orders. 284 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,970 This isn't a menu. It's an eight by ten of a monster. 285 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,471 That's my son, Rogu. 286 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,807 He's very sick but he's a strong boy. 287 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,310 He once ate a bicycle in one sitting. 288 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,186 Slurped it up like spaghetti. 289 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:58,315 Strong. He always gets the biggest soda at the movies, 290 00:14:58,315 --> 00:14:59,816 like a muscleman. 291 00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:05,947 - Can we get waters and, um... utensils. - No. 292 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:09,826 Are we still waiting on one more? 293 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,412 Our mate Jeff Fischer ain't 'ere 294 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,332 cause 'e an 'is 'ole family is sick. 295 00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:17,334 Oh, no, now they're sick? 296 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:20,170 Hold up, I'm sorry... What is with this random-ass crew? 297 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,589 Sllort, Marty, the Working Class Brit 298 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,549 who owns the sunglass place at the mall, 299 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,509 Tommie Tokes, and Wilbur Kentucky? 300 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:29,638 Well, aren't you a sweet looking thing. 301 00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:30,847 You're all friends? 302 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,891 Jeff introduced us all. 303 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:37,187 'E's a real curator of personalities. 304 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,522 God I just want to quit and sit down with y'all 305 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,524 but I gotta not quit and just leave! 306 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,277 Grunklebean! 307 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,116 - Oh, ew. 308 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,911 Roger... save us. 309 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:55,205 Don't worry, I'm here to rescue you. 310 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:57,540 Oh, I know what always helps, a humidifier! 311 00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,835 You traded it for a button maker on Craigslist. 312 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,295 Oh, yeah. 313 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,549 It's official. Everyone's gonna die. 314 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,472 Rogu love you. Aw. 315 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,474 There's more! 316 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,226 Rogu believe in you. 317 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:18,061 But stop spinning. 318 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,563 - Spin make Rogu-- 319 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:23,400 Oh, sweetie, that means the world to me. 320 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,236 This whole time I've been worried what other people think of me, 321 00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,405 but you're all that matters, Rogu. 322 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:31,032 I'm not giving up! I'm gonna save you, Rogu! 323 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,867 What about us? 324 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,787 I'm saving everyone, time permitting. 325 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,083 Mmm. 326 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,293 Love that toxic smell. 327 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,003 Toxic smell? 328 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,922 Toxic smell, of course! 329 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,925 Rogu started getting sick when that box of candles arrived! 330 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,136 It's the candles! 331 00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:54,013 Huh. Says that the ingredients are all organic... 332 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,267 probably full of it like Amy and her bullshit burritos. 333 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:58,601 Smells fine though. 334 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,520 Only one way to really know... 335 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,440 Crap, that's good. 336 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,067 These are delicious. 337 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:09,571 But if it's not the candles making everyone sick, what else could it be? 338 00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,656 It's not playtime, Mr. Business. 339 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,242 Mr. Business! 340 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:16,244 Hmm? 341 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:19,748 Wow. The smell of these packing bubbles is taking me back. 342 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,583 Reminds me of that crazy summer 343 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:24,794 I spent in Pyongyang working at the sarin gas factory. 344 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,088 Steve, did I ever tell you about that crazy summer 345 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:30,133 I spent working in Pyongyang at the sarin gas factory? 346 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,595 I just... want to die... 347 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:37,807 That's funny, that's what everyone in the sarin gas factory was always saying! 348 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,310 Wait a second, sarin gas! 349 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:44,647 Made in a facility that processes peanuts and sarin gas! 350 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,983 That's it! That's what's making everyone sick! 351 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,443 I did it, I figured it out! 352 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,112 Dance with me, Stan! 353 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:54,324 - Help us. - Fine. 354 00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:57,452 Google says the first thing to do is to get you some fresh air 355 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,287 and I know the perfect place! 356 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,917 Where am I? 357 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,668 Oh, my God! 358 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,802 Thank you, Roger. You saved our lives. 359 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:16,513 And you bought us Dippin' Dots! 360 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,431 But Rogu's still sick, 361 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,517 so it couldn't have been the sarin gas. 362 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,102 - Not to worry, I won't rest until I figure out-- 363 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,522 Can someone turn off that tea kettle or whatever is? 364 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,023 It's Rogu's heart monitor! 365 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,359 But luckily it's only one of his three hearts. 366 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,322 Hayley? 367 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,699 I'm so sorry, Roger... 368 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,328 Nothing... 369 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,455 My sweet Rogu is gone? 370 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:46,376 What started off as a tumor growing from your head 371 00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:48,461 became a part of our family. 372 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,213 We all loved Rogu, 373 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:54,551 but no one had a more beautiful connection than what you two had. 374 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:55,969 Wait. What did you just say? 375 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,720 I honestly have no idea. 376 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,849 Once something is out of my mouth, it's like a fart in the wind. 377 00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:03,309 Tumor... connection... 378 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,061 Oh, my God! That's it! 379 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:08,356 Rogu is a giant tumor that grew off of me. 380 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,024 And we're still connected. 381 00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:12,694 So anything I do directly affects Rogu. 382 00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:14,070 When I quit smoking, 383 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,405 it might have been good for me, 384 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,198 but it was terrible for Rogu, because-- 385 00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,908 Because he's a tumor! 386 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,827 Smoking is good for a tumor! 387 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:24,247 Exactly! But Steve, don't cut me off again this is kinda my big moment. 388 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,541 - We can still save Rogu? - I think so, 389 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,960 I just need to do stuff that's good for tumors. 390 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,211 Like what? 391 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:31,588 Someone nuke me! 392 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,305 It's working! 393 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:46,352 Yeah, but to fully heal him, I'm gonna need to do a whole lot more. 394 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:51,190 Oh, sick, love this song. 395 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:55,111 ♪ Your love is like bad medicine ♪ 396 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,780 ♪ Bad medicine is what I need ♪ 397 00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:02,619 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, shake it up just like bad medicine ♪ 398 00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:06,623 ♪ There ain't no doctor that can cure my disease ♪ 399 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,134 {\an8}What up, sluts? 400 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,594 Rogu! 401 00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:23,473 Roger, I'm sorry for ever judging your parenting. 402 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:25,308 Everything we nagged you about, 403 00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:27,602 the smoking, the asbestos in the attic... 404 00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:29,812 was actually keeping Rogu healthy! 405 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,315 {\an8}You really are one hell of a mama. 406 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,610 {\an8}Aw, you guys are too sweet. 407 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:38,446 {\an8}Rogu! Thank God you're okay. 408 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,657 {\an8}I was so worried about you! 409 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,241 {\an8}Then what that? 410 00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:47,538 {\an8}That old thing? It's been there for years! 411 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:51,501 {\an8}He's got his strength back! 412 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,836 {\an8}Man, what a day. 413 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,047 {\an8}This was all one day?